What is More Important than Time?

This a recent email to my LinkedIn connections. It fits well here too. The more I discover the more I find I do not know. I wonder if that is a reason so many stop their discovery process. Living inside a myth is easier.

besuccessfulI have accomplished many successes over the course of my life and the most profound and rewarding happened quickly without any struggle or effort on my part. The common refrain that success comes by hard work and persistence is a large lie in my view. Good for keeping employees nose to the grindstone. Discovering what I do best and learning how to delegate the rest has been my focus. What is the source of effortlessness in this moment? My greatest successes happened while operating as an employee however.   That period is no longer available to me and for millions of others worldwide. I have reached the place where it is clear to me that what it takes to succeed now is entirely different from what it took to succeed as an employee. While many of the ‘rules’ for success may be similar and apply in all cases, principles if you will, there is much I have yet to discover.

I have determined three simple conditions are essential for my success. One is the beliefs I view the day provide what is possible for me to achieve. Limiting beliefs or worse, incongruent opposing beliefs produce failure. When I cannot set aside a belief and replace it with another, even for just a moment, I am stuck.impossibleNOT

Two is clarity comes from simplicity and enables focus. My daily ‘doing now’ list is short and replaced the long to ‘to do’ list I used to beat myself up with every evening.

The most important condition for effective action and accomplishment, for success daily is not time nor is it a set of skills I must continue to master. It is not intention, passion, bliss, or effective goal setting. All are useful but without one condition present make no difference. It is not in any of the courses I have taken over the last thirty years on leadership and dozens of other useful experiences. Concepts are always different from reality. When I have ‘this’ everything I do works. Without enough of ‘it’ I fail. This was useful as an employee but not essential to my day-to-day successes. What is it? Let me know and a future post will divulge my answer.

 

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The FOUR Biggest Reasons for Failure

Any of these four will produce failure every time and there is nothing special about the order.

success12# 1) Believe the ‘marketing’ preached by every single program, political party or religion! My favorite one is you have to have first mover advantage, join early, get in at the beginning before the herd and buy into prelaunch tactics forever. The ‘hurry up and wait’ gets very old. Another one is failure is not your fault. That sounds nice but who really is in charge of your life then? As long as you live in hope, you will fail. Hope is NOT a strategy and is never a tactic to acquire or succeed at anything. If you cannot distinguish between marketing, truth and reality, you are doomed. Yes, the truth gives you a small chance to be free. If you say, ‘if it is too good to be true it likely isn’t’, then please leave now. You are invincibly brainwashed and sabotage your success every time. The ability and willingness to think for yourself is rare and not taught in government institutions.

# 2) You failed because the organization was actually a sifting and sorting mechanism for the few who succeed regardless of circumstances or conditions. Most people have not valued their first and second tier relationships enough to know how important they are. If your friends and family will not or cannot support you, why would strangers? You did not have the skills, the experience or support required to accomplish the objectives. YOU are not ‘qualified’ to succeed in every area or task. Again, hope is not a strategy or tactic for success. How do you become qualified is a worthwhile question. Who determines the qualifications?   It is not the government, any government by the way.

successcycle# 3)  Everyone is committed and outcomes make them clear. If yours is tentative and conditional combined with the same from the organization you will fail. Most of us have tried enough to know that ‘try’ only produces an education in failure, a learning experience. Some will do their best but once reached, they quit also. The excuse, “I did my best” placates all failures. We live in a time when contracts are worthless, no fault divorce is easy come easy go and a person’s word means even less. Consequently, you don’t trust yourself or anyone else. Until you know that you can count on yourself without anyone watching and until you have accomplished the impossible for you just past where you usually quit, you will continue to fail by habit.

#4)  You are not a leader and only want to be a follower.  A leader takes responsibility for all outcomes, is ‘cause’ in the matter of their life. If you keep following the same path to oblivion as the rest of your group, you have nobody but you to blame for the same outcomes. Results matter. Ignoring the ‘fruit’ is a sure way to fail. Hang out with people that inspire you and you become who you spend your time with. Bad fruit and good fruit hang out in separate groups.

The list is longer than just these four but these four once identified can make the success6difference. Awareness of these four areas can produce ground where success has a real chance to thrive.

Will you stay the course; commit to at least one year or even better, 18 months, to allow the ‘fruit’ to ripen?   Yes, you need to know all the costs up front but nothing you have ever done successfully happened in days, weeks or a few short months. If your memory tells you otherwise, you have forgotten the most important steps you took to get there.

Can you follow directions and complete actions without regard for how you ‘think’ it should turn out? Yes means you are coachable. Most people cannot, will not let go of the thinking and beliefs that only serve their masters interests.

Where do you want to go and how do you get there? It will not happen on your own. Find a group that supports you! Where do we want to go and how do we get there? Liberals, democrats and socialists have their own groups. They have their own conditions for satisfaction, tenets, rules and beliefs and claim profit is evil. Profit pays for everything, not the government. The total number of jobs has been declining in the USA since the 1960’s while the number of people looking for a job keeps rising. Can you guess why ‘pay’ has not increased and never will.

Everyone loves sales! What you fear is rejection! …

There is a successful life out there but all of the obstacles are in your mind.

If money is your problem, money won’t solve your problem. – James A. Ray

success10You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. – James Allen

At the bottom no one in life can help anyone else in life; this one experiences over and over in every conflict and every perplexity: that one is alone. That isn’t as bad as it may first appear; and again it is the best thing in life that each should have everything in himself; his fate, his future, his whole expanse and world. – Rainer Maria Rilke

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What is Holding Me Back?

If I am only a passenger in the vehicle thinking I am the driver, I do not have the control I believe I have. If everyone is a passenger, while an unknown driver who knows our destination is driving, what is there to worry about? If the driver doesn’t know the destination why am I a passenger? If I am in one car on a train, where people are committed to one side of the car I ride makes all the difference in our destination, as long as the view from the side I am on makes me happy, confirms my belief, all is well. When I don’t like my view of the direction we are headed I may be tempted to switch sides believing that affects our destination somehow.

perspective2The squares and circles we use as excuses, arguments, justifications and beliefs never make any difference. Plato’s shadows on the cave wall still enslave and mesmerize us, even when we suspect none of it is true. We are still stuck like crabs in a bucket. Someone will support our vision…our beliefs keeping us stuck in our perspectives.

I have been standing in the question ‘What is holding me back?’ for a long time.  Perhaps the question only gives the squares and circles keeping the ‘held back’ experience always present.

The nattering regarding time [insufficient usually], difficulties [ongoing Goldilocks sagas], readiness [starting usually] and worthiness [more insufficiencies] all happen in our minds, from an in-the-stands perspective amounting to book size justifications. School taught us to think and look for the correct answer. That is the wrong universe!!!

The latest in neuroscience and cognitive science research says…

The belief that our attitude or state of mind influences or causes the way we act is a fallacy.

The belief that our feelings or emotions influence or cause the way we act is a fallacy.

The belief that our body sensations influence or cause the way we act is a fallacy.

The belief that our decisions influence or cause the way we act is also a fallacy.

As a three year old, the one thing that impacts accomplishment is not smothered yet.whoYouareNOT

No magic buttons affect our actions. ‘Yeah, but’ at best is just a gif. The application that may work is:

Knock UNTIL the door opens
Seek UNTIL you find
Ask UNTIL you have it
REPEAT

What we see is always and all ways a function of what we believe. Until we can set aside one belief as easily as we can another, we are blind. Consider all beliefs are a lie or at best incomplete truth. Any nanomicrocosm of doubt voids the ‘whatever you want you can have’ warranty too.

Accepting what is happening, without paying causal attention to the circle or square, without judgments, without justifications is not easy or simple to acquire.  One plus one equals three and two is a lie or at best a bridge.

wonderYou do not change your reality through doing anything. … Enlightenment is not an experience. – Richard Rudd

The choice of perspective is always to live in a lie.

How do I move into the driver seat? Is it possible to get out of the train, get in front of it and lay new track while the train is moving? Is either question a possibility in this paradigm? What delusion keeps it all in place?

Sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast. – Lewis Carroll

Getting rid of a delusion makes us wiser than getting hold of a truth. – Ludwig Borne

The only escape, the only way out, the only way forward, the only exit from the box is remaining present in the moment to now. As an answer, this is worthless information.

 

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Week – #15 Persistence Always Wins

One equals the size of the other.

One equals the size of the other.

You cannot not be persistent.  It is virtue without a top, there is always more to go and more of it to do. It is a virtue not possible to ignore either. I looked this week for persistence. It is everywhere and always wins!

Fleas are persistent in their attack on a dog.  If you want to rid the dog of fleas, you will have to be more persistent than the fleas.  You can however train fleas to limit their persistence.  Capture enough to see them in a wide mouth jar with a cover bouncing off the top of the jar, you can hear them banging to get out.  It must hurt however.  Eventually the sound subsides and while they keep jumping, they will eventually not hurt themselves against the lid any longer.  When you take the lid off, they continue to jump just inside the jar. Like fleas, I noticed this week I have been ‘hurt’ and decided to limit my jumping to just inside the current jar.

Persistence and consistency appear to have a lot in common.  Persistence though seems to indicate operating continually in the face of some resistance.  Consistency appears rewarded for no resistance but stops when its inertia meets a similar opposing force.  Persistence rises to a level past the opposition.  I noticed while driving the mountains here there is a ‘persistence’ required to maintain the same speed. Sometimes you have to add gas and other times you need to downshift or use the brake to have a consistent, persistent speed.
forgetcredit
I am either persistent in my resistance to my negative views [not much workability] or I persist in something more constructive.  I uncovered in my list of successes in the past something persistent too.  I had arranged them [subconsciously] into time periods.  The beginning ones are all about approval, winning approval, accomplishing a task and then getting the approval to produce the ‘successes.  The ‘failures’ associated with that time were I didn’t get the approval I desired or enough of it. Get straight ‘A’ report cards long enough and the approval rating becomes a so what; so what are you going to do to get approval now.  I was a flea only willing to jump so high.   I wanted to have the same outcome for the same performance. That never happened and that was always an upset. 

1000attaboysI also noticed a persistent background conversation, in me and in others, that sounds like ‘I don’t wanna’.  I don’t wanna do this anymore, I don’t wanna be in charge, I don’t wanna do it that way and the list is finite but too long for here. When I get the two year old into the game, ‘wanting to’, stuff happens, miracles occur and I am astounded at what I accomplish. However, when allowing him free reign, stuck is a kind word.

Having an opinion, while not voicing it, is still a persistent mind influenceTHEworldmeme.  When I looked at an opinion it involves judgment, based on a rule I believe is true and how close I or they are to fulfilling the rules obligations.  My conditions for satisfaction are persistent. Yes, I can change the conditions for satisfaction. How much work is involved in having the subconscious take on the changes?  Opinions are like the early warning signs of a cold coming on.  Without some intervention, opinions lead to upsets and worse.  Could I change the rule I was using? Acceptance is changing the rule, ignoring it or some other observational way of not engaging the rule, that just ‘set off’ the opinion.  I wonder how many rules are in here that now contradict each other because I ‘accepted’ something temporarily by adding a subset rule change to avoid an upset.  I have to spend time house cleaning the conditions for satisfaction so they all support the definite major purpose.  The coming weeks of looking for one virtue all week will help in the cleansing.

A willingness to go along to get along may not serve you or me in the long run. The other area I looked at this week and need to spend additional time on, re persistence, is how I have the structure for fulfillment designed.  One structure I persistently revert to is the ‘Wizard of Oz’ before he came out from behind the curtain.  Asking him out usually is met with a persistent ‘I don’t wanna’ also.  Healing my past to attain my highest potential is one of the new tasks this course has pressed on my subconscious.    The other persistent old chant is ‘I’m not good enough’.  Sometimes the caveat of ‘yet’ is added and other times ‘ever’ with a certain victims tone is added.

YougWishesIn digging out the past success list, it pulled with it the background motivations and all of them have about being good enough or not.  As a child, I embarrassed easily.  I risked being wrong often. I guessed at answers in a hurry to discover the ‘correct’ one.  The number of times chastised for my behavior is legend. Teasing is never kind either and the two follow hand in hand. Eventually no matter how ‘nice’ the chastisement it still pushed the ‘shame’ button into the stuck on position.  The subconscious job is to protect and defend, especially from pain.  The mechanisms and resources devised to insure nothing presses the button always fail. Someone eventually notices, ‘what does this button do?’ and boom I am an instant reaction, an upset way beyond reason or appropriate for the current situation.  More shame follows compounded by all the past episodes I have long forgotten leaving everyone baffled and unsure of what just happened.

The subconscious adds another layer of protection. A layer of smart, removecluttercute, helpful, kind and whatever is currently working but eventually the button is pressed. Eventually, you just shut the door on entire rooms of your life, lock the door, board it up and plaster it off so no one knows the room even exists.  Persistence has no top to it. The mansions we live in have secret rooms we are afraid to enter. I am looking forward to adding all the rooms back. Stay tuned to the weeks ahead.

Week – #15 Persistence

creativemindBeginning this week we select a virtue and look for it all week.  When I was growing up with five siblings the road trips were frequent and long.  They were always an hour to days traveling and one way to pass the time without fighting was playing games that kept us occupied.  Someone would begin asking everyone to look for a white horse for instance.  The first one to see the white horse was the person who selected the next item.  

This is the advanced version of the game. It goes all week and this week I am looking for persistence. I started seeing it as soon as I selected it. Everyone is persistent in some ways.  What we focus on is what grows and where the energy flows, they say.  The persistent view of a glass half-empty and a persistent noticing what is wrong or missing fills conversations, Facebook, Twitter and the list is endless.

Persistence, tenacity and continuing effort all seem to align.  They may consistencylook much like pestering, a version of insanity when it is merely repetition doing the same thing repeatedly.  Persisting with a goal, using the gap between now, and it achieved as a gage may be a different way to persist.  This will be an interesting week looking for persistence.