A solution to knowing what you want, then knowing or not knowing what to do but not doing anything, anyway, may first require seeing the source of the problem. I don’t buy the fear theory either. I suspect the fear story only adds fuel to the fire for most people and increases the crazy. Anything that keeps the unconscious mind in charge makes the unconscious happy. Did you catch the clue?
The path keeping the unconscious mind happy may not be a workable path. Some insist we only need to retrain her. That requires hours of committed work and what if the new rules, habits and patterns, always based on some past thought process, are insufficient for your new future but especially for right now? I know you have to do something and anything is better than nothing. OH! Another way to keep the subconscious happy I suspect.
A double bind holds you and stops you. Somewhere in your subconscious memory banks, a past event, stored with a number of rules, designed by a two year old usually so ‘it’ never happens again waits to take charge of your life. Unfortunately, anything similar will set it off and when we are in automatic mode we react to the sudden energy jolt associated with THIS CAN NOT HAPPEN TO ME AGAIN, by either flight or fight but all too often, the mixed messages we have also acquired stops us cold. Our usual go to calm approach, get angry, watch TV, or whatever your favorite ‘cooling off’ way, never solves and honors the commitment but keeps the amygdala, monkey mind and lizard brain happy. The more drama and trauma the more energy this event inserts into your conscious mind. An especially well worn path of unaware issues sets off a negative Amygdala Hijack. It will run you to death until the Amygdala’s safety concerns reaches satisfaction. This automatic always and all ways approach to life keeps you clueless and in the dark, forever.
Awareness eventually solves everything. Awareness does not exist in your past or your future. Awareness NOW provides choices. It would be a great class for first graders where it would become a habit every genius would use. When you begin to notice, to be aware of the connections and then the initial triggers and even before that the initial thought you gravitate and hold on to that begins the chain reaction, once aware you suddenly have a choice! If you continue to allow the unconscious choir to choose, nothing happens differently and if you use your conscious mind to pick a new door, the reaction is powerful. A feeling floods your body, danger, excitement, worry, etc and the three-headed choir is not happy. If you cannot choose something new who is stopping you? Yes, the ‘fear’ overwhelms us time after time laying down nearly impossible to break habits that chain us to our worse nightmares. Blaming fear as the cause keeps the choir in charge. Fear tells you where to look!
When I first caught this act happening to me, the shock that I was a pawn in a ‘play’ where I was not the author or the hero changed me instantly. My ‘choir’ lost total control 21 February 1984 and I had a portion of my life back! The battle never ends however, the mountain has no top, and the ladder goes on forever! We are always unaware of something. Using this method to climb molehills and any other kind of mountain with a top has only ultimately fed the choir. The taunts and teasing, how nothing makes a difference, a cute way of suggesting ‘they’ want back in charge has worked for them from time to time. While I have gone from over 350 pounds to under 220 pounds, they pick up lots of new ammunition every time I go below 220. You are fine, you have lost too much already, you are too skinny now and on and on.
The choir, amygdala, lizard brain and monkey mind do some remarkable stuff however. The last time you heard a joke that set off your laughter button and fed you happy drops all day long or at least for hours afterward was the choir at work! Talk with anyone who has their choir chemically suppressed for medical reasons they report a loss of the emotional highs. Their passion disabled may not be a good bargain. Keeping the choir off line disables and short-circuits your power. If suppression and retraining are not the path and awareness always leaves you unaware of something what can you do?
When I was perhaps six or seven, I walked in to a mass early where a hundred or more people in unison recited the Rosary. The experience was soothing and calming. That many people meditating aloud, praying together touched me profoundly. It was difficult when I wanted to do something else, actually, when my ‘choir’ wanted to do something else. Now, I leave the house on my morning walk and I have the choir say the Rosary in three-part harmony. I can put the conscious mind to pondering something else or have it focus on now, each breath, step, tree, rock etc I set my eyes on. “I” can watch both activity sets as they occur. I check on the choir from time to time and sometimes I must go four-part harmony to stop the conscious mind ruminating about anything, especially a recent upset or concern. This says I can put the choir to work!
You have perhaps found yourself driving down a road with a task or objective in mind. The objective is in the subconscious mind primarily. When you come up behind someone going slower than you and you must ‘take back control’, you may be a little agitated. The choir’s agitation can be maddening by the way. The choir’s agitation appears to make your speed approach a crawl somehow too. The subconscious loves to perform tasks!
When I first heard Mark Januszewski offering his Go90Grow program he was sharing how to get the elephant, one of his terms for the subconscious, to move in a prescribed direction. Engaging people’s subconscious with appropriate material raises the curiosity level of the choir getting the job done! I am more interested in my choir doing what I want it to do than having me ‘motivate’ anyone else. Perhaps you get both learning either one.
We all have an ability to manage the choir! We do it haphazard at times and usually without awareness. Imagine what you could do with awareness, mindfulness some call it.
Remember we live in an up and down, good and bad, two sided coin world. When I stumbled on Victor Frankl years ago, his interest in liberty and responsibility captured my attention.
I recommend that the Statue of Liberty be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the west coast. – Viktor E. Frankl
In Scroll II Og Mandino wrote, If I have no other qualities I can succeed with love alone. Without it I will fail though I possess all the knowledge and skills of the world.
In other words, if you have love, nothing else matters. If you don’t have love, nothing else matters.
If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don’t have integrity, nothing else matters. – Harvey Mackay
Which one is it? They are two sides of the same coin. Just as Liberty and Responsibility are two sides of another coin where we often forget the other side, we sometimes have paid too little attention to integrity. Integrity holds our source of power. So I say.
About four years ago, a friend sent me a copy of an article from a Toronto business magazine. At the time, I read the article, commented to my friend that I would have to redesign my life to have this view of integrity fit me and kept it. The ideas excited me and I saved the article for future review. I added it to my reading during my Silence last week. The articles author interviews Michael Jensen a Harvard Professor of Economics. He describes a ‘new’ definition of integrity he uses and teaches.
Integrity in our model is a purely positive phenomenon. It has nothing to do with good vs. bad, right vs. wrong behavior. Like the law of gravity, the law of integrity just is, and if you violate the law of integrity as we define it you get hurt just as if you try to violate the law of gravity with no safety device. …
My internal map, or wall, of reality controlled by the choir first did not appreciate his phenomenon. ‘Keeping’ your word is a right vs. wrong standard. Honoring your word is something else entirely.
Michael Jensen said, If you’re up to anything important in life, you will not always be able to keep your word, and that’s alright, but if you are a person of integrity, you will always honour your word.
The sting, what captured my attention:
One’s word to one’s self is a critical part of integrity. By not being serious when we give our word to ourselves, we forfeit the opportunity to maintain our integrity by honouring our word to ourselves. For example, think of occasions when the issue of self-discipline comes up, and the ease with which we often dismiss it. It may be something trivial like, ‘I’m going to work out tomorrow at nine o’clock’, or something serious like, ‘I will never cheat on my wife’. By failing to honour our word to ourselves, we undermine ourselves as persons of integrity. If we aren’t serious about this aspect of integrity, it will create ‘unworkability’ in our life: we will appear to others as inconsistent, unreliable or unpredictable. You simply cannot be a whole and complete person if you don’t honour your word to yourself. Unfortunately, people almost universally ascribe the mess in their lives resulting from out-of-integrity behaviour to some justification or rationalization. – Michael Jensen.
Everyone may have some ‘unworkability’ in his or her life. What do you call the inconsistent, unpredictable and unreliable behavior you are with yourself? Perhaps you blame it on someone else or the circumstances. My gap between the occurring and the possible … massive unworkability and I have only scratched the surface in my word with myself so far. This and the six aspects of integrity require a new and improved design of my internal map of reality. My great grandparents, grandparents and parents coached, coddled and encouraged me to walk and be potty trained by nine months. Talking happened anyway. (There are movies!) My first trauma was 15 months away yet and this phenomenon excites me as much as learning to walk did, maybe more.
Please, read the article, Integrity: Without It Nothing Works and save it for later or continued study.
The choir has a new challenge to accomplish – my integrity. “Nothing else matters!” Everyone willing to begin the climb is welcome on the journey! Can you smell breakthrough? The coin of the realm, heads or tails, love and integrity, one grows the other!