In a recent conversation with my dad, he told me a story where the retort to a given comment was ‘that is either SWAG or WAG, which one is it?’ SWAG is a scientific wild ass guess. That sums up far too much of everything today for me. Look at the science called economics or meteorology. Both appear from more than one perspective as WAG. SWAG is their cover story. Disagree with ‘them’ and YOU are the problem. The same people are still outraged when another religion jailed Galileo for simply stating the truth that this earth revolves around the sun.
Today if you watch the weather channel, the descriptions of weather fronts appear as a ‘flat planet’ where the sun rises in the east and sets in the west. [The Sun does not move relative to us!] The weather fronts move across a nonmoving planet at some kind of speed. Yet we all know the planet has two different speeds that just might affect weather patterns yet I know they ignore both.
The planet is whizzing around the sun at about 67,000 miles an hour. They do consider that when leaving the planet’s atmosphere. The rotation speed at both poles is inches per day and at the equator about 1000 miles an hour. I live at 6000 feet overlooking the valley about 1000 feet below. To the west, I can see two more mountain ranges. Knowing that the sun is not moving I have a different sense of me falling away from the sun every day after noon. On bright, cloudless mornings, it looks like I am falling into the sun! I walk up to 7000 feet three or four days a week and from a precipice where I can only see the sky and clouds, I can see the clouds are being pushed, sometimes they are pulled and sometimes we are in synch. The experience of the earth moving at the first appearance of the sun at 6am and the end of daylight at 6pm is the easiest to sense. Living in the flat dry lake bed of Lake Agassiz in northern Minnesota, you can see for nearly 26 miles in any direction and lying on the ground mid-afternoon looking up at the sky there was nothing but sky and clouds. It is where I first caught the sense of the earth moving.
I have been spending time studying my ‘map of reality’ or you could call it my worldview. Each of us has one and the one each of has is unique. If you have any siblings, the more the better, you will see how worldview affects what people remember, see and believe. Sometimes it is difficult to believe we all sat at the same dinner table!
Some of us are committed to our ‘self’ first. The other polarity is “I’ll go later, let’s take care of you first.” There is no moral component, right or wrong to this. Each of us is one or the other and we need an equal number of givers and receivers. When in the “Me First” [m1] mode and mapping on the belief that everyone else is a mirror to us, everyone else appears in that moment to be an m1 too. Anything they say or do supports my belief, my worldview, internal map of reality and my already-always-listening/interpretation. If I am committed to my job from and with a listening, ‘you are always the problem’, the world appears to be a minefield of problems and ‘you’ are the main one!
When I am experiencing my ‘self’ as the source of joy, happiness and love, the moments are all wonder filled. When I know or believe it to be true, from the stands perspective, I make myself bad and wrong for not having the experience and since everyone is a mirror, them too!
When you come from love, you don’t have to go looking for it. – Werner Erhard
One of my worst perspectives is “I assume…” And the one that causes the most dissatisfaction for me; I assume everyone sees what I see, cares about the world as I care, is committed to making a difference like I am and is willing to put their needs and wants last to achieve the objective.
When this perspective or script is running, I am at least disappointed and the experience, the taunt from the subconscious, “I AM WRONG” [again]. We only operate, unless we are aware, with our own interpretations and when aware it seems to give us only random glimpses of what is real.
I grew up with, ‘Remember, when you point the finger, three are pointing back at you.’ ‘The thing we like least in others is the thing we least in ourselves.’ How I developed and embedded these ‘truths’ over time is every upset I have about anything tells me the problem is me. I give everyone a 100% accuracy about me. Any disagreement, even out loud with you is essentially with just me. I am beginning to see ‘now’ they are being 100% accurate about themselves. Sometimes there are correct about me and sometimes the problem is that is not ‘me’ and I never took the time to see that, making them right and ‘me’ wrong.
Granting everyone all my strength, courage, ability, intelligence, integrity, etc [or lack] is a real source of upset for people. Most don’t even know the cause, they are just upset, and usually at me. Yes, it is possible I am again taking all the credit/blame here. This is a perfect way to support my “I am wrong” [again] mantra.
As an exercise, that I saw I had not done in a long time, I spent a couple hours initially and then kept the pad close to me over the next day, to write down, “I am committed to…” whatever came up. Whatever appeared, I wrote it down without any judgment, true, false, etc, I just wrote them down. When I found another one, I wrote it down. After a day, I had a large list. I imagined a huge crystal bowl of my favorite spaghetti and each noodle was one of the commitments.
The bowl represents me and I thought the ‘goal’ was to empty the bowl and have it just be ‘crystal clear’ and maybe that will happen sometime. I never labeled or named the bowl before. My focus was only on the spaghetti. I have known or experienced my ‘purpose’ for as long as I can remember. I can remember my first causal incident at age two and the purpose was there already. Languaging the purpose tended to separate people into for and against and that defeated the purpose. A conundrum of the worst kind especially since it was my fault. Around thirty years ago, I listened to a lecture and it struck the chord of harmony with my purpose. I have spent much time since then wondering what this means. “I am committed to a world that works for everyone, with no one left out and no one left behind.” What would that look like? Not having any idea, I am left with ‘this world SURELY isn’t it’, which again defeats the purpose. Another great way to hear from the subconscious, I am wrong [again].
The purpose is life and that it be, completely.
The commitment is: aliveness
– Werner Erhard
With my pile of commitment spaghetti, I filled the bowl, a world that works for everyone, with no one left out and no one left behind, with those commitments that resonated in the bowl. My list includes commitments given or imprinted upon me by the world, the cultures I have lived in, family, upbringing, ‘who knows from where’ and my own creations, on purpose and not. I am no longer going to make any of them wrong. Many do not belong in the crystal-clear bowl ‘now’ however. I have another bowl called ‘not doing now’ and I put them in there. There is another bowl labeled ‘never doing now’ and it has tons of great ideas for someday.
The often incoherent pile of my ‘internal map of reality’ is what I view and filter out the world and those in it. When we accidentally or on purpose are on the ‘same page’, have a similar worldview, workability appears. Treating it, as a random act of kindness offers no solution. Hope is not a strategy! Taking all unworkability as my fault instead of being cause in the matter or being responsible is a recipe for upset, yours and mine. I now have a list of commitments that resonate in the bowl. One of the first things I noticed, that to the level I am willing and able to honor my commitments as myself, lowers the level of angst and worry around me. Theirs accordingly lowers mine.
I have begun a personal review of a ‘leadership course’ that the first lesson is discovering for myself the ‘already-always-listening’ I am.
What you don’t distinguish (that about which you are unaware) runs you. – from the course
The ‘seasonings’ of life are those pesky already-always-listening/interpretations. The sauce in my spaghetti is herbs and spices that say, ‘I know!’… ‘I am wrong [again]’ … “Is this true or false?” …“It’s all my fault” … “Blame me” … “I already know” … “I know better” … “I am right”… “You are right” … “You should …”… “I am busy” … “what do you want from me?” … “Hurry up! Get to the point” … “is this good or bad?” …“What’s in it for me?” … “this is going to be a waste of my time” … “I don’t believe you” …”what do you really mean?” … “what are you up to?” … “Tell me what to do”… “what’s the answer?” … “I want the answer”. The more I looked the more listening and interpretations I found.
I mentioned one earlier that my noticing it has shifted what I am hearing and experiencing. I now see two polarities in life, both are perfect and correct. One is “Me First, I get what I want and you will get what you want.” [m1] The other is “I’ll take care of you first and worry about me later”. [m2] It seems we tend to pick and live from one and are only able to see that one in others [the mirror] until we realize we can be either one anytime OR that we have chosen to freeze one in place for ourselves as a permanent life test. Both provide the power, the flow of energy to work with others. Eliminate one and nothing happens, the motor stops.
It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit. – Harry Truman [m2]
If Mother is not happy, nobody is happy. [m1]
I suspect all of my favorite quotes; any quote comes from either m1 or m2.
The most recent already-always-listening I caught shocked me present! “I should ONLY have to do this once!” This context and script holds everything and is added to everything I do. Naturally, you may notice the likelihood of some upsets around the way the world works for me.
I then saw a way to [adding it out] “Ask, [UNTIL] it is given to you; seek, [UNTIL] you find; knock, [UNTIL] it opens to you. [REPEAT] (Take one day off a week).
A shorter version, Ask, Seek, Knock (all ways and always) [UNTIL] results appear. [REPEAT]
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sounds the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
– Robert Frost
What does a world of 7.5+ billion, self-actualized, self-aware genius leaders look like? They are all followers too and not one is ‘in-charge’ of anyone but themselves. When an opportunity to serve, to lead occurs they respond appropriately to the opportunity. The current ‘design’ empowers the .01% to be happy, amused and in charge of the rest of us. I say there is a switch that flips this paradigm inside out. Evidence suggests a small core group will create the breakthrough, soon if you are willing, able and ready to play.