Last week’s 48-hour excursion into the Silence, some call it “the Drift”, left me in a wonderful state. Attempting to explain what I saw I discovered a need to explain a few things first. I have engaged in so many different ways of looking at the world, finding one that explains them all may not be realistic. Will you settle for an explanation for what I see in simple to understand language? My issue and current main concern: people, including me, want what they want and then, even when knowing what to do, do not do it! Even when doing what to do has worked in the past may be the very reason they stop doing it! Knowing ‘why’ has no power. I suspect any power available disappears with why, because and is.
In the last post, I identified five parts of what I see as formulation. There are a couple other concepts I must explain before engaging in integrity. A few posts back I touched briefly on our ‘worldview’ inside the complete set called reality. Each of us has an internal map of reality. Like any map, the map representations and the real thing are different. However, most of us until we recognize this will only live in our made up map as if it was the real world. If you ‘think’ fifteenth and sixteenth century explorers had difficulties, exploring our world with your current internal map of reality nearly guarantees failure!
The internal map grew as we grew promoted by our parents, schools, teachers, culture, religion and anyone we allowed into our mind. Some people never take back control. Along the way, either on purpose or by accident, we acquire ‘double bind’ issues. All of us experience trauma forever-coloring thoughts and similar experiences as bad and wrong. We manage to acquire two or more ‘beliefs’ or ‘truths’ that are not congruent. Most of the time, we arrange in ourselves the two or more beliefs in such a way they do not clash or if they do we find some way, some other belief that says the two still work in this one case. The lowest common denominator always wins out.
An example common for many, we should not judge the unfamiliar but hold what we believe we know to a different standard. For example, the demand we not judge all Muslims by the actions of a few lunatics in their midst, even if the majority seldom or never condemn the lunatics has many adherents. Now compare this to the demand to judge all gun owners by the actions of a few lunatics, especially when they condemn the lunatic fringe that uses guns illegally and irresponsibly. If you cannot see the incongruence here, you are not aware of your own double bind thinking.
The trouble arises in the dualistic game we play called life. Up or down, in or out, good or bad, right or wrong, black or white and on it goes. We have developed lists in our internal map of reality that define good and bad for each of us. Then we must eliminate the bad and increase the good. However, the labels each of us uses are different. Some people have a white category where they pile all the rules for good and some people label their pile of ‘good rules’ as a ‘black’ category opposite their white one. Many of the rules on everyone’s lists are different as well. That people communicate at all seems a miracle to me.
Some offer a way to stop playing this game. … I doubt the possibility. You can learn to play with awareness giving you choices, choices to move rules, eliminate some and to realize that when in automatic you are doing things crazy! Allowing ‘space’ for all of it helps. When you only have space for ‘good’, you may be one of the worst persons anyone could know! If you have no room for bad, you really have no room for good either. Notice how you are with yourself. All of us are capable, each of us has the capacity to be negative and yet we act judging our behaviors on automatic pilot! We barely notice the ‘good’ and spend copious amounts of time suppressing the ‘bad’. Whatever you resist persists. Once you begin to look at your internal map, you will find incongruent, out of alignment and double bind thinking. When in automatic we are stuck with the angst of it all.
Awareness provides choices, the choice to choose something different. The trouble with awareness, we are always unaware of something especially after the joy of being aware of my awareness! Purpose and meaning are after the fact. When you first experience life as empty and meaningless and the ‘empty and meaningless’ has no meaning most people feel really bad or empty or both. Yes, we are meaning machines. You may make anything mean anything you choose and you do. You have the power to create or destroy and thinking requires you pay attention! Thinking and talking to yourself are different! Having thoughts, paying attention to any thoughts and thinking are different! We immersed in thought are like birds flying looking for air or like fish looking for water.
The questions you must ask your SELF:
How do I create what I like? What I don’t like? How do I create my feelings? How do I create my behaviors? How do I create what it means? From where does the meaning come? How do I attract the situations I am in now? Until you practice looking for your cause and effects, you have no awareness only automatic happenings. Some say ‘being it’ suggests automatic while doing awareness gives having being. Can you create I have me? Can you live a life from there?
You cannot escape from the dualism game! Knowing you do something or did something or not …sorry, not awareness. All beliefs are self-fulfilling prophecies when running in automatic. In automatic, they use you to make you right and or other people wrong. They attract people and situations that only support your beliefs or only allow interpretations that match and support your beliefs and dictate the way you and others around you have to act to keep the beliefs in place. Do NOT believe me! Notice how someone who believes completely that black cats are unlucky acts. Notice the coordinated so-called thinking of liberals and conservatives. You may find it easier to see it in others not like you. Can you see it in you and yours however? We purchase being right at the expense of aliveness and happiness. All beliefs do this! As long as you either agree or disagree, your beliefs run you. What you can let be will let you be. Saying ‘the way it is, is the way it is’… automatic running you. It just happens… automatic running you. Remove the ‘is’, ‘because’ and ‘why’ from your speaking for a day or more. I dare you and you will not find it easy. You will have to practice awareness.
If you are still here, thank you. Success in anything we attempt requires three essential ingredients and for many of us a fourth.
The first one, taking total responsibility for one’s life and one’s self, stops most of us quickly. Blame and responsibility are not congruent. I did a research paper thirty years ago and the mountain responsibility has no top. Responsibility ONLY begins with the willingness to be at cause in the matter. When and where do you stop being at cause?
The second one, learning how to control your own mind, another mountain with no top, offers real adventure. If you cannot control your mind, something else will and does.
The third ingredient says when something does not work, do something else. The normal, doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result was not practiced by Edison fortunately. This seems to be common however.
These three ingredients will get the job done. When all three are present, success appears almost like magic and it looks to be effortless. If success eludes you, you must ask yourself, “Am I WILLING to do whatever it takes TODAY?” I have discovered for myself the answer all too often is ‘no’. The reasons are automatic, unthinking and an unaware robot being on it. Are you willing to get off it?
The fourth ingredient you may need too. Find somebody to help you do what you want to do who has done it and does it now. The bicycle, providing it works for everyone, still requires you climbing on it and for most of us someone assisting you until you discover balance for yourself.
As exciting and wonderful and terrifying and impossible, crazy keeps on running. Integrity, a recent kind of phenomenon, offers workability, access to all four ingredients regardless of your internal map of reality and if you love climbing, another mountain with no top. Stay tuned for the third installment and beginning.