You cannot not be persistent. It is virtue without a top, there is always more to go and more of it to do. It is a virtue not possible to ignore either. I looked this week for persistence. It is everywhere and always wins!
Fleas are persistent in their attack on a dog. If you want to rid the dog of fleas, you will have to be more persistent than the fleas. You can however train fleas to limit their persistence. Capture enough to see them in a wide mouth jar with a cover bouncing off the top of the jar, you can hear them banging to get out. It must hurt however. Eventually the sound subsides and while they keep jumping, they will eventually not hurt themselves against the lid any longer. When you take the lid off, they continue to jump just inside the jar. Like fleas, I noticed this week I have been ‘hurt’ and decided to limit my jumping to just inside the current jar.
Persistence and consistency appear to have a lot in common. Persistence though seems to indicate operating continually in the face of some resistance. Consistency appears rewarded for no resistance but stops when its inertia meets a similar opposing force. Persistence rises to a level past the opposition. I noticed while driving the mountains here there is a ‘persistence’ required to maintain the same speed. Sometimes you have to add gas and other times you need to downshift or use the brake to have a consistent, persistent speed.
I am either persistent in my resistance to my negative views [not much workability] or I persist in something more constructive. I uncovered in my list of successes in the past something persistent too. I had arranged them [subconsciously] into time periods. The beginning ones are all about approval, winning approval, accomplishing a task and then getting the approval to produce the ‘successes. The ‘failures’ associated with that time were I didn’t get the approval I desired or enough of it. Get straight ‘A’ report cards long enough and the approval rating becomes a so what; so what are you going to do to get approval now. I was a flea only willing to jump so high. I wanted to have the same outcome for the same performance. That never happened and that was always an upset.
I also noticed a persistent background conversation, in me and in others, that sounds like ‘I don’t wanna’. I don’t wanna do this anymore, I don’t wanna be in charge, I don’t wanna do it that way and the list is finite but too long for here. When I get the two year old into the game, ‘wanting to’, stuff happens, miracles occur and I am astounded at what I accomplish. However, when allowing him free reign, stuck is a kind word.
Having an opinion, while not voicing it, is still a persistent mind meme. When I looked at an opinion it involves judgment, based on a rule I believe is true and how close I or they are to fulfilling the rules obligations. My conditions for satisfaction are persistent. Yes, I can change the conditions for satisfaction. How much work is involved in having the subconscious take on the changes? Opinions are like the early warning signs of a cold coming on. Without some intervention, opinions lead to upsets and worse. Could I change the rule I was using? Acceptance is changing the rule, ignoring it or some other observational way of not engaging the rule, that just ‘set off’ the opinion. I wonder how many rules are in here that now contradict each other because I ‘accepted’ something temporarily by adding a subset rule change to avoid an upset. I have to spend time house cleaning the conditions for satisfaction so they all support the definite major purpose. The coming weeks of looking for one virtue all week will help in the cleansing.
A willingness to go along to get along may not serve you or me in the long run. The other area I looked at this week and need to spend additional time on, re persistence, is how I have the structure for fulfillment designed. One structure I persistently revert to is the ‘Wizard of Oz’ before he came out from behind the curtain. Asking him out usually is met with a persistent ‘I don’t wanna’ also. Healing my past to attain my highest potential is one of the new tasks this course has pressed on my subconscious. The other persistent old chant is ‘I’m not good enough’. Sometimes the caveat of ‘yet’ is added and other times ‘ever’ with a certain victims tone is added.
In digging out the past success list, it pulled with it the background motivations and all of them have about being good enough or not. As a child, I embarrassed easily. I risked being wrong often. I guessed at answers in a hurry to discover the ‘correct’ one. The number of times chastised for my behavior is legend. Teasing is never kind either and the two follow hand in hand. Eventually no matter how ‘nice’ the chastisement it still pushed the ‘shame’ button into the stuck on position. The subconscious job is to protect and defend, especially from pain. The mechanisms and resources devised to insure nothing presses the button always fail. Someone eventually notices, ‘what does this button do?’ and boom I am an instant reaction, an upset way beyond reason or appropriate for the current situation. More shame follows compounded by all the past episodes I have long forgotten leaving everyone baffled and unsure of what just happened.
The subconscious adds another layer of protection. A layer of smart, cute, helpful, kind and whatever is currently working but eventually the button is pressed. Eventually, you just shut the door on entire rooms of your life, lock the door, board it up and plaster it off so no one knows the room even exists. Persistence has no top to it. The mansions we live in have secret rooms we are afraid to enter. I am looking forward to adding all the rooms back. Stay tuned to the weeks ahead.