The end of the year and the beginning of a new one is the most common theme this week worldwide. What are your goals for the year ahead? I am grateful for this last year’s lessons and successes. I am excited for 2015. What does the New Year hold for each of us?
What makes the difference for each of us?
You must live for another if you wish to live for yourself. – Seneca
And when overlaid with…
Life yields only to the conqueror. Never accept what can be gained by giving in. You will be living off stolen goods, and your muscles will atrophy. – Dag Hammarskjold
The clue is to hold two different thoughts in place at the same time.
I live life on vacation in paradise. It does not occur that way for everyone and it annoys some people who believe I did not ‘earn’ it. The conventional ‘golden rule’ is to treat others how you wish to be treated. Even when practiced it is abuse, because it is completely wrong. Nobody wants to be treated how ‘I’ want to be treated except me. Everyone wants to be treated how they want to be treated but most have ‘given in’ to normalized behavior!
Every human being is unique: you cannot treat men and women as units in a neat scheme without doing violence to them. – Gerald Vann
Discovering how others want to be treated is mostly observation and a few questions. Along the way you may even discover what your gift is that puts you on vacation in paradise.
Realizing when you have one good hammer, everything appears to be a nail worth pounding, requires a level of discernment that can only comes after many experiments. Figuring out which experiments worked and what the ingredients were before you pounded them into the ground may take a long time and annoy many along the way.
What I have discovered is most of what’s sold as required skills, attitudes and formula essentially blame the victim for their failure. I know life is designed to work. If it isn’t working, I am either working from the wrong design or telling a story about it that keeps it all drama. I have never bought the fear angle. The sloth perspective needs more work.
When am I being lazy? If my minimum daily new contact number is ten and after a week or so of fifteen plus daily I slack off to ten or even 5, am I being slothful? We all tend to be more critical of ourselves than useful. Others may shirk from doing anything because they can’t do my ten as easily as I am. I couldn’t in the beginning either but no one noticed, not even me. I wish I knew how to give people the ability to ‘play’ in this sandbox no matter what happens, rain or shine. Something about willingness is missing too often.
We all live inside a network of people. I have managed to assemble a large group in many places. This last couple of months I have spent more time on my cold frozen market. What I didn’t realize, even though I knew the correct answer, is it takes many more contacts to warm people up to what is possible. It requires more of me being present. I am in the collecting decisions business. We make decisions based on a number of factors using one or more decision trees we have developed. Most of what I knew before last year was how to lead someone to a decision with his or her mind. It may be useful to know how but essentially powerless when either the heart or the gut says otherwise. I discovered the mind was never designed to make decisions but has only been recently ‘programmed’ by schooling and advertising to run the show leaving people stuck in emotional dramas because their gut and heart is either screaming “NO” or is ignored entirely. Much of the sales training is mind based and therefore mindless.
I am committed to discovering how to let my heart and gut rule and allow the mind to follow, consult from time to time and keep track of the statistics. Success has always come from who I know being greater than what I know. What I know is often a perspective limited to a single point of view I hold in the moment that always changes if I move or if I am moving, stop and pause for a moment to take another look.
One of my morning queries is ‘What is my source for being ‘notoriously’ happy today?’ The question has proven useful. I have a minimum daily contact of ten people. Combined with follow-ups and various other tactics in place when I keep the commitment, happiness occurs all over the place and I find myself doing more than I said. The habit bears fruit while when doing less, plus $1.25 doesn’t buy a paper and a cup of coffee. Funny how that works and the fruitful busy button will stay pushed without effort or trouble at ten or higher. I am not saying the correct answer for anyone else is an MDC of ten. You must find your number. It is greater than zero.
There is another value I enjoy called effortlessness that appears at ten and higher. I suggest effortlessness is comprised of four equal partners, integrity, responsibility, defenselessness and acceptance. All four require more study and practice on my part and I will move into mastery of all four in 2015. The key has been following my heart and gut in practice while ignoring the constant nattering of the minds’ ‘never good enough’ equations.
Another overlay is instead of a ‘to do’ list I have a “Doing Now List”. That as long as I use it as designed doing today what I said I would do today is almost an automatic.
The tactic I find most useful in accomplishing everything is:
Ask until given to you.
Seek until you find.
Knock until the door opens.
The reasoning or strategy using any tactic comes from your purpose, goal, dream or vision of the future. I have shared a number of my dreams and goals over the years and a few I wrote down without telling anyone. The ones that happened with the least struggle, effortlessly were the secret ones I revealed after the fact. Making your goals public was the method I learned first. A Brian Tracy course suggested I needed to be less public to nearly secret about the goals until after accomplished. A skill, like riding the bicycle, only happens in the use and experience of it. An excellent blog post on the Six Types of Goal Setters written three years ago by Arina Nikitina is worthy of annual review. In 2015, I will help at least 50 people produce ongoing residual income that will be greater than their expenses. The math suggests it is possible in ten years, ten months or ten weeks. The one variable I have no control over is you. Do you?